I recently asked someone if they identify as a feminist and they said, “Well, it depends what the definition is.”

Which got me thinking, do I actually know what feminism is? How do I characterize a feminist?

What is feminism?

Merriam-Webster offers two definitions of feminism:

1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

Pretty innocuous, right? Equality. Good. Women’s rights. Yes. (It’s 2017, damn it.)

Yet, feminism scares a lot of people–men and women alike. Because many people equate feminism with man bashing. Do some self-proclaimed feminists bash men? Yes. But does feminism itself represent man-bashing? No.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. “During second-wave feminism, which started in the early 1960s through the 1980s, many women distanced themselves from the [feminist] movement for fear of being lumped in with the stereotype of a feminist: a woman who is pushy, brash, doesn’t shave her legs and above all else, hates men.” (Source)

So, what is feminism?

For starters, feminism is not just a female thing. And more importantly, feminists are not just women.

In it’s simplest form, feminism is a means to equality.

Why does feminism matter?

Understanding feminism is a prerequisite for creating a world where all genders and sexes are allied, empowered, and equal.

Are YOU a feminist?

Start by answering this question: Do you believe men and women are currently equal? In every and any context–in a conference room, in a home, or walking down the street–are women equal to men?

The answer is no.  If you believe all genders and sexes are currently equal, read this, this, or this.

And consider this: In the U.S., there are more male CEOs named ‘John’ than woman CEOs overall.

If data doesn’t do the trick, maybe a personal anecdote will be more effective. There isn’t a public space in the world where I feel completely safe walking alone at night. When I go somewhere alone after dark, I base my decision on two things:

1. The distance between the venue and my car.
2. Quality of street, sidewalk, or parking lot lighting.

I don’t make these decisions because I’m afraid I won’t be able to find my car in the dark. I actually have an impeccable sense of direction. It’s because I feel unsafe as a woman.

Is this sad? Sure.
Is this unfortunate? Entirely.
But is it necessary? For me, yes.

So, let’s say you agree with me: men and women are unequal. Then ask yourself this: Do you believe all genders and sexes should be equal?

If your answer is no, then you’re a sexist. There’s no grey area here.

If your answer is yes, congrats. You’re a decent human and a candidate for being a feminist. Recognizing inequity is central to feminism.

What does feminism look like?

I cannot capture what feminism looks like from a comprehensive standpoint. It is intersectional. Meaning, it looks different given a person’s unique identities. That said, this is what feminism looks like in my life:

♀ I acknowledge the gender pay gap (supported by quantitative research). According to a Pew Research Center analysis, women earned 83% of what men earned in 2015. My action: I negotiate my pay and encourage all women to always negotiate.

♀ I believe words matter. You might remember Always’ #LikeAGirl campaign from 2014. (You should watch it again.) Words matter. Words and phrases are no longer “just a joke” when they become embedded in our culture.

♀ I actively oppose ‘hepeating’. Hepeating is when a woman says something and it’s ignored, but then a guy repeats the same thing and he’s praised for HIS great idea. This happens in social and professional settings, all. the. time. My action: When I experience it, I speak up. If I witness it, I call it out.

♀ I support my friends who are stay-at-home moms or dads. I support my friends who are working moms or dads. I support my friends who think kids are drooly, sticky disasters (who should always be kept at an arm’s length). My action: I verbally affirm a woman when she shares her decision to have or not have children, or more commonly, expresses hesitation regarding her decision.

♀ I write about feminism on a Saturday night.

This is what feminism looks like in my life.

Are you a feminist?

How?